Goodbye to Denmark

The corridor of the night unravels from this window.  My thoughts are on my upcoming flight home, and the future.  Denmark has changed my lens, has changed the way I look at the world, and it is time to reconcile my old life that I left and my new one.  I see that I have made things too difficult, always clinging to a relationship, always trying to make something work.  But if it broken, sometimes the thing is beyond repair.  If you are unhappy doing what you are doing, then it is time to do something different. 
 
I don't at this time have a good idea of what direction I will be heading in, only a heady sense that the world is open to me, that there is more choices for me than I can comprehend, an inspired feeling of possiblilty that I have not felt rising in me since I was beginning college, so long ago.  Perhaps I can get back into school, a more practical field of study.  Perhaps I can move to a different area.  Perhaps I will look for a new job. 
 
I just know that my life up until now has been treading water, trying to keep my head above it, but now I realize that one can be underwater as long as you hold your breath.  The feeling of irriation when I do the same thing more than a few weeks in a row.  So, best might be something that can change from one day to the next.
 
My last night here I am spending in the quiet, feeling aloneness--not quite lonely, just very aware of being alone.  Seems the best thing is to float on, to be mindful but not afraid, to say yes more, to realize somehow it will all work out.  When you say yes to something, you are saying no to other things, whether you know it or not.  I have said my yeses, and now I am learning the nos that I have said.  Life is a grand accident, and I am a humble witness.